Will you? Letter #1 For Him

Dear Love of mine, I smile looking forward to meeting you for the first and last time.

Being called your lady in and out of public.

Titles professed aloud so uncertainty cannot muddle what Us stands for.

I'm not sure if you're already around or have yet to arrive.

I have to explain myself as I am sure to confuse you during the process of our future courtship:

I've loved you and waited for the moment to

freely let my guard down and tell you all the soft and mushy things I try to swerve on.

I've had this inkling to pour the best out into you and this relationship I have yet to blossom in.

I'd let you down on occasion but make it up the rest of our lives making sure that the darkness doesn't overshadow the brightness of my undying love for you.

I'm a flawed person who cannot accept to be the damsel in distress even when I don't ask for help. Try anyway

I have a hard time giving up on people even if it's toxic. Don't give up on me as this is my ultimate request to prevent self-destruction

Dear love, I've daydreamed about the possibility of waking beside you in the morning and smiling to myself in your embrace.

I believe in you, although, we have yet to tangle our ties and get threaded into the love of our own making

I've forgotten my way to self-love and am still

in the process, I apologize in advance if I seem cold

I live deeply in my thoughts, pull me back to you if I forget to remind you of my warmth.

Past loves have taken my most prized possession which is time and I get tired of giving so much. So I fall back, don't let me in to the abyss.

Dear love even if I never say it, I need you, to know that what I have believed all my life does exist.

I am serious, at times even when I shouldn't be, oblivious at unintended laughter I've forgotten what it means to laugh until you cry, to just be silly.

Dance with me, in the moonlight as if no one is watching whether I ask or not, this fulfills the little yearning in my soul.

I...have issues, beyond my own comprehension, I clam up, I forget to be affectionate, get annoyed because my ocd won't allow imperfection....yet your imperfections I can accept and analyze into understanding that in your own way your flaws are perfect to me.

There will be moments I'll fuss at you and cuss you

I admit I am a bit nuts but it's only because I have high expectations

and no matter what I'll always believe you can do better....let me be a bit crazy and come back and love me dammit. I'll say sorry even if I'm not good at it.

On days like these you'll want to run away, I won't tell you to stay but I'd hope you wouldn't leave.

Dear love can we be friends and lovers, so I can remind you why I am worth the wait and heartbreak we've encountered along the way.

Can we laugh

without jokes and kiss under dragon shaped clouds or

stars that we name as our own constellation?

Can you take my hand in a crowded place

without ignoring the expression of shy love on my face?

Can we, lay lazily on the floor taking about our dreams and

argue about which flavor ice cream to watch your favorite movies to?

Can we make our love a celebration that we are one amidst our troublesome days?

Dear love, can you learn how to love me

as I take the steps to do the same even when I am unable to give you clues?

Will you accept shameful tears as I hate to be seen

in all my vulnerability yet sometimes gladiators weep?

Can we be overdressed as we take over the world? As silly as it sounds I like these things.

Can we share a language no else will understand

filled with innuendos and inside jokes?

So when my eyes reflect against yours only we will know.

Can you call me yours in public and pretty in private?

Will you hug me while I overthink about whether not I should do it first?

Love, would you be willing to speak Spanish when you meet grandma and if God permits creole to my favorite aunts? Even if it's a little...it means a lot to me

I'll show you how to hold me as we dance Kompa and Merengue at their parties.

Will you be able to trust me when the clouds are gray that I'll hold you down and ignore the naysayers, because I believe in us and our capability to surpass obstacles?

Please trust me, your fears are safe with me and your insecurities will always be invalid

because I'll show you how amazing you are to me even if it's in my actions.

Ask me if you need them verbally, I'll do it.

I love PDA---PRIVATE displays of affection, not hiding my emotions simply like to keep it to ourselves. I hope you do not mind.

Can I sing to you while driving without destination in the car even if sometimes I'm off key ? Because music sometimes is the only way I can explain in words how you make me happy...

Will you give me space when I need it?

And not make me choose between you and my friends? Previously I've been held hostage in these hard places...don't do that to me...

My loyalty can be shared but not divided.

Can I love you until there's more salt in your hair than pepper and bengay becomes your new fragrance as I rub what hurts away?

Lol I won't judge you...

Dear Love,

Will you promised to do your best to not make me feel foolish for loving you as hard as I do?

I will have moments I will feel I do not deserve ongoing happiness at your side. Life has a way of getting me down and questioning the validity of where I stand, will you tell me why I mean so much to you?

Let laughter fill the hurt instead.

Can I tell you I miss you a hundred times and kiss you a million because the stars in my eyes cannot seem to feel satisfied with just one display of mutually shared loved.

Dear, will you accept the burden of my love?