On doing love well: a note on freedom

love — true love — the kind we find in Rumi. The bordering on boundless and madness is the kind that frees us.

to love enough to want our liberation and are willing to do anything for it that is love.

Love has been made to be this weak shallow misnomer of a thing. But only what is attacked often is usually a proof of power.

The disconnect of love and loving each other. Not as a means to bypass reality but to support, reinforce resilience and strengthen the ability to reject status quo is the power of love.

What is doing love well?

I think it is all different for everyone. I’ve discussed this with friends and potential lovers of the past. Each answer different.

To do love well. Which is ironically a concept, a discussion, an idea created between possibility in private I think is such that deserved to take shape in the collective light.

I believe to do love well is to open ourselves to vastness of ourself and others. To be love so profoundly that we fall in love with ourselves while being with other people and in turn being able to use that overflow to learn to love others how they desire.

We are in Pisces season after all. Poet’s, artists of all mediums, the prophets and romantics all have created worlds where love changes us forever.

I was listening to a comedian discuss love as critical surgery — watch video here — https://youtu.be/1pTQCYaTlZY I had never seen him before but hey hope you enjoy.

And my own thoughts of this metaphor are as follows especially since love the desire to do so but in our own tunneled way leads to conflict.

A critical surgery would be considered major organs. Imagine open heart surgery and the years it takes to master it as a surgeon and still things can go wrong but they can also go really well. During and in recuperation relationships are similar. We are connecting two people — two separate worlds and life experiences into a heart or relationship there is a common goal but both see and experience the world differently.

It is complex, it takes time, it takes ongoing communication and support. There will be moments all is well and there will be moments that you don’t know if it’s a malfunction or just things falling into place.

Relationships= romantic, friendship, platonic, business, communal. These are so many types don’t forget this.

How much of our conflicts are because of limited examples and at times conditional selfishness. Do we love somebody enough to desire their freedom, their joy outside of us? Or do we want to possess someone’s love? Bend them to understand our love vs how they need love?

Curiosity is love. Porque no los dos. Why not both is usually how we should go about it. Not compromise necessarily but true understanding and comprehension. It will not always be perfect. Nothing human made is.

To ask, to inquire, to study, to CONSIDER, to be open enough to find out together is love. To want to understand and learn even if we’re on defense. Our enemy was never each other but the dehumanization, the needing power over, the belief that our pain is the only pain that matters is the enemy. It makes us vindictive and punishing. It also makes others pay instead of holding accountability is a two way street.

A lot of awful things happen on our way to learning how to do love well with our personal selves and others. Not everyone is trying and that is just the reality of it. We try but in no way must we convince or coerce others to join us. I know, I have learned this the hard way.

If you look at any movement over time and history. It has been the outrage of ill treatment of our lands and our beloveds. The fierceness of love is what activates us.

I don’t assume to have all the answers but I do think about love deeply. Especially in all the types of ways I receive and try to offer love. Sometimes we hit walls and we need to reconsider our own boundaries and intention on the why of our how. It is ongoing for as long as we live this learning to love well.

I always assume however it goes it is worth it. I don’t regret my own attempts, it is never a waste—no one runs out of love. But we can be empowered, intentional, imaginative, and inspired to act in love.