Be Humble…Nah
Just because the world has wanted to humble you doesn’t mean you should. Humility isn’t lucrative in a society that will eat you alive.
Let them hear you step into each room confident and solid in who tf you are. Hoping someone will see you while you’re hiding (guilty of this) is…a disservice mostly to you and the 3 times better you’ve had to become to get anywhere in this life.
HUMILITY is the biggest scam for Black and non white Latine women. I can say women of color but I can only speak of the most underpaid, least respected, most disrespected and undervalued women I know and my own intersections.
being humble is usually only celebrated for us. People find glee in humbling us — telling us our place—question that—because the reason is. They see how more we are and hope that we don’t recognize that light in ourselves.
Having confidence is usually seen as an averse thing but then introversion is seen as being stand-off. You can’t win — you aren’t supposed to. Because there isn’t a competition. You don’t win awards for best humility. You don’t win for being invisible. Even when you think you’re being invisible, I am thinking about writers, stage crews, producers, designers you are still seen and recognized. I have been surprised many times but people who have come up to me after an event or a workshop and said this has really made a difference in my life. I am not showing off right now I am in gratitude — it tells me I have something special and my intention comes across—how dare I say no I just (make my self small with statement here).
Outside of production — I come from a world before Internet and people would still know about the arts and business and more. Social media has warped our sense of self and often times created pressures of added performance and addiction to instant acknowledgement and access. Sometimes it’s a detriment and most times whatever pressure is self imposed. Even if someone else is like why aren’t you posting or whatever we allow and choose and HAVE THE RIGHT discern the level of access we provide and give to strangers.
My Mami changed my Life early as I was being bullied and she said basically Fuck em. No one shouldn’t determine how you feel about yourself.
Many times as Black and Latine women we are very much what will people say, what will they think, but the real question is who are they? Why do they matter so much?
Are they going to be burried or cremated with you when you die? (Morbid I know)
the true question isn’t what this elusive THEY think but what do YOU think about yourself? if it is degrading — someone told you to think that. Babies aren’t born hating themselves that’s taught.
who do we admire and are they playing small?
The very reason we know about them is because they’re visible one way or another. It takes a level of audaciousness to show up to life as fully as we can.
There’s a reason why entertainers are so paid. Rappers literally braggadocio themselves into the life they want to live. Imagine if we shifted humility into a level of being ourselves always. There’s a time and place for certain parts of ourselves to but there should always be space for me to be me. If not I’m personally disengaging and usually no longer staying or going there.
I have been attacked when I am most open and sincere and in my inner child. People have directed their misery and rage when I shine. When all I’ve done is be present and myself. (I’ll discuss the story on my next podcast episode).
I am learning that hiding my talents, my thoughts, and myself purposefully out of shame or fear is arrogant to the universe(god —insert word your word here) that gave them to me. I compulsively am myself. I burst at them seems with stories and thoughts how can I assume people will find me? If they have no idea who tf I am? Letting people know I am here and maybe you needed to hear or read what I wrote isn’t showing off. It’s sharing information.
The best part is if you don’t like it or agree — mute, block, unfollow, or never interacting with someone again is an option.
There was a great thread about this I hope i can find it and link it
There are levels to this right — there are arrogant people which usually are trying to be greater than they feel, egotistical people (also pretenders or overcompensators) and narcissism (which is actually per therapists not a huge percentage) but that’s not what I mean. I don’t mean take up space in place in the place of others. Speaking for those without a voice —-everyone has one some need a platform offered and others just need everyone else to shut the hell up and listen.
I mean — let the world hear you walk o to the rooms you have curated and aligned and been already deemed worthy to walk into. Do not scamper. Do not apologize for existing. You exist anyone mad — take it up with the universe.
In reading and observing older people: especially women who make it past 100 what’s the first thing I notice they don’t care about anyone else’s projections and limitations. They do what makes them happy and it harms no one. The same goes for the happiest people — they Let their inner children run free. It’s not easy in a world built against us intentionally. Part of the healing generational trauma work is THIS.
All the more reason to do it. Usually people who are viscerally offended are in awe of us and frustrated that they cannot be the same. That’s a them problem. It’s gotten me in trouble.
How long will extraordinary people, Black people, who have survived the apocalypse and genocide are to exist in repentance for existing?
