Turbulence 6/30

My teeth rattle

The defying of gravity goes beyond 

My scalp

I 

Question

Everything

This introversion 

Should I have smiled more at the 

Overbearing privilege spreading their knees too wide into my personal space 

Will my mother know 

I love her 

Once I Be

shreds of 

leftover luggage

My body shrinks into

Itself and still it is not enough 

To calm the silence worn on my face 

Turbulence

This is how my chest feels - daily

And I wonder 

Is this how my lovers felt 

when we left each

Other, without saying goodbye

Jolted, uprooted, distraught 

Maybe it was just me

Or them 

I pray to God

As if we’ve been consistently speaking 

/Incessantly/

asking for peace, for sleep, for freedom of regret and safe passage wherever I’m supposed to go

My stomach drops 

Weariness sets in/I could have at least had enough love in my life to be ok to leave this body/damn 

How dare I die/starving/waiting for love, for more than snacks/for a smoked bourbon and garlic bread with mom 

I question through the ding

Of seatbelts on/like I ain’t risk averse

Should I have loved a little harder/wrote a little more to have a legacy to leave

As the flight eases and God answers my prayer. I dream on land, experience the depth of love in being picked up from the airport and hear “how was your flight?”