Shedding light to my flaws, as I have been accused or personally recognized it on my own. Heading to a path of growth. I've been a seed for too long.

I have been told :

You are too defensive,

because I have been attacked in the spine while standing in the sunlight by the very

chiropractor who rearranged me

I refuse to be a sacrificial lamb robbed of my own wool and left to be bed-ridden in numbness

You are unforgiving,

because no one embraced me in protective arms against betrayal, wings were ripped as I flew freely basking in a happiness that was never genuinely offered as mine. I have been staring at the sky ever since, healing has come, and still I remain a caged bird in hopelessness 

You are an overthinker,

because I have blindly decided to pour every once of me into an endless crater, not once full enough to help me float, but empty enough to keep me dehydrated in inclinations.

I thirst for surety yet chaos is what comes from taking leaps when Gravity has been the only thing to pull me as hands let go of me unexpectedly.

Falling has never been my favorite position 

 

You are too quiet,

Because I observe the honesty that fails to escape once trusted lips and disbelief is the new coat I choose to clothe myself.

I have given words that never had meaning despite the difficulty to release them.

To utter sounds of admiration causes pains to resurface and boogeyman to parade in my paranoia as I close my eyes and let them free.

You are unaffectionate, 

because I await for you to leave my side as if I never existed. 

As if forever had expiration dates and giving up on me was the last second.

Why place myself under a spell of craving you when you will no longer be there?

Why give you morsels of me that have been displaced into wishing wells of uncommanded disappointments

 

i am too realistic or it is pessimistic at the factual evidence left behind.

 

you are too,  sure of me.

 

i am healing, so I hide vulnerability, 

cannot offer competitive advantage over me.

 

so I wish you attempt to understand, so expose my flaws. 

 

So I can begin to be free within